A Collection of Best Embarrassing Moments - II

 బతుకు "BUS-STAND"  :)  :

Actually..this is not just a story.This is a saga :) తెల్లని shirt పై మరకలా కాలికి అంటిన బురదలా ఇది ఎప్పటికీ అలా గుర్తుండిపొతుంది . After Engineering , all my best buddies flew to US for their MS programs and I took shelter somewhere around Dilsuknagar. What I was doing? Applying for jobs and learning some course at ..haha..obvious Ameerpet .Here the story goes to an alley near my room. Every evening ,me and my roommates would walk from our room to the main road to have some snacks (pani puri/ mirapakaya bajji :) ) or to buy vegetables.So..on that lane from our room to the main road there was a flat on third or second floor of an apartment which had a family in it .

Our saga  deals with two good looking college girls from that family . So while we walked the damsels would come out to their balacony and smile at us. There was one guy Vamsi in our gang who was 100percent sure/adamant that they were there at balcony for him,for him only. I never believed him nor understood those girls . i knew it was coincidence .

One day ..vamshi and i were going on the same lane ... I looked at window even before we came close to that appartment...no one was there but as soon as we came even closer they popped up at the balcony.They were smiling.vamshi was smiling. He was saying "అదిగో ..చూడు .. చూడు .. చెప్పాకదా వస్తారని ".Usualgaa కనిపించే నక్షత్రాలు కాకుండా asteroids commets తిరుగుతున్నాయనిపించింది నా తల చుట్టూ . అందులో ఒకటేదో పెద్దగా వుంది ..బహుశా Jupiter ఏమో . వంశీ ని criticize చేస్తున్నానని కాదు కాని , we didnt think they were coming for him as he thought. No offense.రోజులు గడుస్తున్నాయి .They never spoke to him nor "hi"ed  him .

Now the second part for this story. One day i was coming alone on the same street too. As I approached their appartment ..one girl came out to balcony ..stood there..and went in :) A few days later I saw her in the bus-stop . And two days later I saw her again in the same bustop. NOW WATCH THE TERRIFIC DRAMA: We had a chat :) The whole conversation took place in english only.Somehow ..I filled my heart with sahasam seyara dimbhaka courage though it was a tough task indeed. Taking for granted that she kinda knew me..i mean అప్పుడప్పుడు చూస్తూ ఉంటుంది కదా lane లో వంశీతో పాటు అని ..(time బాగోలేకపోతే ఒబామా కూడా మామ లా అనిపిస్తాడు )

I went to her and said " Hi"

She was staring at me like i was from our ninth planet Pluto .. I didnt know what she was trying to see but I saw a big quesion mark on her face.Confirmed .Book అయ్యాను .Terrible runtime error. To avoid my further self-embarrassment ...కొంచం తేరుకుని

I said again " Hi' (believe me..i said again)

She said " WHO ARE YOU ?"

నాక్కూడా same అలాగే అనిపించింది . who am i . మళ్లీ తేరుకుని....

I said " I just thought i would say 'hi' ". నా vocal cords నుంచి మాటలోస్తున్నాయి కాని ....వాటికి నా brain తో connection already lost.

She twisted her brow differently and with full frustrated voice brutally attacked me again " BUT WHO are you ?" ( she added a word extra this time..and the accent was on the word "WHO" which was even more embarrassing to me)

"వామ్మో !! ఎన్ని సార్లు అడుగుతావు తల్లి who are u who are u ani. నాకు మాత్రం ఏమి తెలుసు " అని నా మనసు ఏడుస్తుంది.అసలు ఎప్పుడూ లేనిది నాకు ఇలా wish చెయ్యలని అనిపించడమేంటి and ఇలా book అయిపొవడమేంటీ.... ఏంటో .... అంతా మాయ!!!

వీలైనంత తొందరగా అక్కడినుంచి పారిపోవలని ధ్రుడసంకల్పంతో  ... finally i replied "hmm..okay..no problem" and jump-jilani .... escaped from there :)

That was one awesome embarrassing moment.Dont u think?? haha. I never revealed this to my then roommates :) . Actually.. i didnt do my home work properly. I should have equipped myself with suitable replies to answer unexpected questions . i think i expected a NO HI from her but not this :) :) . As the saying goes every cloud has silver lining .... thank god/thank her .... she didnt call police :D . hmm, adi naa city bus-stand story :) 


Meltdown in Maths Class :(     :


No matter how hard i try i cannot infuse a funny or happy smiley in this article. I told u once that i was not good at maths till i entered 9thclass.And though i was poor i always got good marks all the times except this time. This event happned in 8th class . In the quartelrly exams that time ... as a matter of fact i could not solve a single problem.The syllabus mostly included a chapter called Commercial or business mathemetics which was a hard nut to crack for me. . After blisfull dasara vacation ... back to school and the time for results. SeenSaar (maths sir ... srinivas sir..we call him fondly that way) came to class that day with the bundle of our corrected answer sheets and with an expression on his face which was furious. The look itself distanced me from him.The sheets were distributed and he was calling each one by roll numbers . 90% of the class got very less marks and sir was beating them like never before.

I was called. There were many moments of embarrassment here. After he called i was walking towards him and he gave the look. The look which I never saw before. It killed me.That was the first of the many moments that hour. I went to him he and he asked my marks.I said my marks.He asked me again loudly.I said "24" (out of 100) .He smiled sarcastically.That was the second. He got hold of my ear and started twisting it.Did it hurt? If u are asking me whether it hurt me physically i will say NO. It should hurt but i didnt feel any physical sensation. It was more than that.The infliction infront of the class was waht that was hurting me. Then.. placing his hand roughly on my head he forcefully pulled my head down making my body bend before him.Then he beat me on my back. Again I didnt feel any pain physically. He was saying something to class while beating me.That was paining .I didnt cry. Whole class was watching and everyone was feeling sorry as they always saw me as the one who got first or second rank.


I went home.Next morning .. i didnt want to go school. It was embarrassing. I didnt go. At home, I feigned "stomachache ".The next day it was head ache.The other day it was dizziness. I acted that way infront of my mom for almost 7 to 10 days. THIS was embarrassing too but i didnt have the gut to face the other teachers and the whole class. RadhaKrishna,my classmate told me at home that all the sirs and ma'ams were talking about my incident.They never might have assumed that i would be in that kind of situation. adi katha. Now a smiley : :)

A Collection of Best Embarrassing Moments - I

1. Piece-of-चाकू ;)  :

Engineering Frst year.In Workshop. That day ,our task which could be called "excruciating" was : Each of us were given a small matchbox sized iron piece. We had to file its edges smoothly and also cut into a bizzare shape.There was something more to that process...i think we had to put it under some machine...ok whatever...wil come to the point...somehwere in the middle or end of the process we had to rub that iron piece with some wet piece of chalk and must be allowed to dry.

So..here the story deals with that piece of chalk. Somehow I found one very very small piece of chalk and started rubbing the slab . As I was using that one friend Mastan Rao came and asked me for the chalk once i was done with it. naaku mandipoyindi .so i said seriously with a disgruntled distorted face " rey.. naa daggara vunnade chinna piece... emi ivvamantaav". He went away. I was still doin the process.  

A few seconds later one girl Mitra came to me and just said " chalk piece" . Could not say anything to her like i said to mastan.As my track record dealing with girls was always utmost pathetic , i just gave her as if i was a machine . Just gave it to her.Just like that. Strongly Seriously Sanctimoniously praying god to not let happen an event i tuned my face to check whether god had answered my prayer or not. No,He didnt answer. Mastan was there.Looking at me. he saw waht happened. That was not a usual smile on his face..it was something different ... a lopsided smile kinda thing embeded with the best sarcasm and best satire. alaa aa chalk oka chaku laa heart lo dhigi i died that day on the spot.Condolences to me !!!! ;)


2. ఆడవారి మాటలకు అర్థాలు వేరులే :) :


ఇది మాంచి variety. school లో జరిగిందే . మా school లో ఒక ఖతర్నాక్ సంప్రదాయం ఉండేది . " అన్నయ్య సన్నిధి ...చెల్లెమ్మ పెన్నిధి " type. i mean... boys girls ని "sister" అని అనాలి .girls boys ని "brother" అని పిలవాలి . Super brother-sister sentiment కదా .Yeah even i felt weird when i moved into this school in 6th class. okay now the story :) : 

This happened in 9th class . One day ... I finished my lunch at home and came to school a bit early for the afternoon session. I was doing my hindi handwriting notes .. adey chinnappudu raasthaam kadaaa .. handwritng copy.. so i was writing which must be submitted in the last period . Otherwise ... khallas mana pani. Anitha was already there in the classroom. She would bring lunch box usually. After a few miutes..Rajini entered. Only we three were present in the room. Then the drama started .

I dont remeber exactly who started first. Anitha asked me


" Brother, మేడి పండు చూడ మేలిమైయుండును పొట్ట విప్పి చూడ పురుగులుండు ... పద్యముంది కదా... ఎవరు రాసారు? "

Unaware of anything...I answered " vemana anukntaanu sister" .

she said "Thanks brother".

I felt proud for my accomplishment. I was still scribbling in my notebook. A minute later ,Rajini started.

Rajini asked " Brother..తప్పులెన్నువారు తండోపతండంబు తప్పు లెన్నువారు తమతప్పు లెరుగరు .." అంటూ ఇంకో పద్యం పాడి " ఈ పద్యం ఎవరు రాసారు? " అని అడిగింది.

Me unable to read between their lines... scratched my head and said " correct గా తెలియదు ..,భాస్కరుడా ?? " . She smiled . I smiled too.

Later bell rang at 2 pm and the classes began. The second period was Chandraiah Sir's Social studies. That day he seemed cool and was not teaching anything. Just talking with students. I was doing something I dont remember . Finally chandraiah sir came to the subject of animosity among girls in our class. Even i didnt know about it before. There were two groups among girls in our class.Rajini and Anitha belonged to rival groups. Sir was trying to be a good peace maker and trying to unite them.

The arguments between groups soared up and suddenly rajini said "master... కావలంటే ... kranthi ని అడగండి....ఎవరుstart చేస్తున్నారో గొడవని... afternoon జరిగింది క్రాంతికి కూడా తెలుసు" .

Calling out my name suddenly that too as a witness brought me form my world into the classroom. Before i came to senses the whole class,ofcourse boys cried out loud mockingly " OOOOOOOOOOO....." "kranthiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" .Snickering everywhere. 

I was mortified. మా boys అసలే ఎదవలు ...వాళ్ళ అరుపుల కి comments కి ఏడ్చినంత పని అయ్యింది . మధ్యహ్నం ఎంత అమాయకంగా అడిగారు questions.హమ్మ !! అది enquiry కానే కాదు .infact,పద్యాలతో యుద్ధం . నేనేమో పిచ్చి సన్నాసిలాగా వాళ్ళడిగిన దానికి బుర్ర చించుకుని ,అలోచించి మరీ answer చేసాను . ఎంతైనా ..pawan kalyan పాడినట్టు ఆడవారి మాటలకు అర్థాలు వేరులే !!! :)


3.Chemical ' Reaction' :)  :

haha..once again a girl made me look like a fool. . First year of Engg.Chemistry lab. What would happen in lab usually was: we would be given some salt (some powdered chemical) ..first we would weigh it in a balance and later go for the experiment stuff. So as ususal... i was given some white coloured salt like everybody else. There was a room with all the miniature common balances..very small....enclosed in a glass case. I slowly placed my salt on those tiniest paltes of the balance and was trying to weigh. And...i did a mistake. While weighing ...my hand touched the balance with force and the salt fell on the case bottom.
Heart attack. అసలే hostel లో ragging చేయించుకుంటూ చచ్చిపొతుంటే ఇప్పుడుsirs తో కూడా చెయించుకోవాలా దేవుడా అని మూగగా ఏడ్చాను...రొదించాను. అటూ ఇటూ చూసి ఎవరూ చూడడం లేదని confirm చేసుకుని...కిందపడిన salt ని చేతికి దొరికినంత తీసుకుని మళ్ళీ plate లో వేసాను .ఇక weight చూడడం waste అని decide అయ్యి...పక్కనోడి weight ని రాసుకుని .. చలో to experiment :) 

Already i lost hope about the marks which would be given in the end. Experiment was done somehow and I was calculating some molarity or molefaction and was just rounding up every value analysing friends values.And from out of nowhere...Divya Kannan came.A few words about her.A tamilian ,full height, she would talk so fast as if words were coming out like bullets from Ak47. And this was the one of the only two verbal encounters i had with her in the whole 4 years.

A confession to make here :) : In the past...Though I was not good in talking with girls...I had one peculiar quality.I could go and talk to them if there was a need....but if THEY suddenly would pop up before me and talk ...it would take time first to come out of shock and then to acknowldege that somebody was talking to me.The point is I must be the initiator because i would do all the required homework and rehearsals and approach them :)

Okay..comin back to story..Divya kannan seemed to have some doubt in her calculation and she found me leaving everyone. She came to me and emitted a super sonic wave " @%$-----some encrypted voice message-----$&#" . what i could decipher that as was " wahts your output value ?" . Suddenly seeing her asking me the question i mumbled, topping it up with an awkward smile " well....i did ....appropriately" . She looked confused. Why wouldnt she? so was I. The moment I saw her ..my brain cells related to reasoning and understanding got switched off. You know that only my Vocal cords would work during those times. She left giving an awful look.Devudaaaaa!!! 

After she left I started thinking what happened : she came..she asked the output value...waht i intended to say was "I messed up while weighing the salt and so i calculated roughly..approximately.". Instead of using the word "approximately" I used "appropriately" which is an exact opposite. Godddd!!!!! I felt like jumping into one big concetrated H2SO4  bottle there in the lab and kill myslef infront of all the professors and fellow sudents. చీ బతుకు ..!!!! :)


-Kranthi :)