Saturday ? or Saturnine day ? :(

Bangalore.Last saturday night. In my room(hostel/PG) .Feeling like King :) I was in full happy mood... was eagerly waiting for the clock to tick 9 30 . The reason : that was the time for one of my favourite programs... Dance india dance -little champs which is a kids dance show on Zee tv judged by Farah khan et al. wow...wow..those kids are extremely talented.Goosebumps 100% guarantee. No question of missing it.The other reason for my happiness was ..monday was declared holiday..some bandh..yahooooo!!!!!! laaaa lala lala laaaa..laaaa laaaa laaaa.Some things wont change ..still I (we?) wait for bandhs which grant holidays. (hmm..need to compensate working on some weekend :( anyways..for the time being..its cool)


Here in hostel ....one elderly woman cooks food for us.I call her amma and we share a good rapport.. like very good friends . As usually...amma brought food to my room by 9 pm.As i havent had my lunch that afternoon..she brought rice instead of chapathis(my usual intake at nights is 3 chapathis :) .The cuisine included sambar, curd and the yummy karappodi(prepared by grinding red chillies into powder adding some spices..dont know exact process :)).She makes the best karoppodi. That day..she made that specially for me . Without oil.... karoppodi in hot rice doesnt taste that good. So she brought the oil in a small bottle. ఇవన్నీ చూడగానే "ఆహా...ఓహో....thanks ammaa..." అంటూ యమా excited గా చెప్పాను . My heart was singing " ఆహా..రేపు holiday...ఎల్లుండి holiday....yayy yay yaayyyy".

I sat on the bed comfortably ...spread an old news paper nicely...placed the plate carefully on it. The round plate was circumscribed by curd cup,sambar glass, karoppodi botttle , the oil bottle and me. Time was still 9 15. I took the remote..pressed the keys tap tap tap checking the movie channels which i usually watch ...Nothing groovy was coming...So finallly began eating. :)


Feeling very hungry.Gigantic rodents in my stomach :-) Opened the karoppodi bottle and put two spoons of it in my plate. Then i stared at TV for a second. And then i opened the oil bottle , tilted the bottle and allowed the oil to fall on the karoppodi...and capped it. I stared at TV again. Suddenly ...some strong pungent smell was coming . Didnt know from where. Very strong harsh unpleasant smell... directly went into my lungs and I started coughing...పాత సినిమాలో బీద ముసలివాడిలా . A Few seconds later i looked at my plate...Everything seemed normal.


I pulled the karoppodi bottle closer to my nose and sniffed . it was okay. Then i FELT that it might be coming from oil on my plate. i assured myslef saying " may be because of keeping the oil in the bottle for a long time, it might have got that odour" . Time బాగోలేకపొతే ఏమైనా అనుకుంటాము . But, subconsciously... my mind was sensing something ominous. I flet like i knew that odour before.The misake was...I didnt consider that seriously .


Then i re-initiated the eating process.ఆకలి మండిపోతుంది. Afternoon no food కదా !!!!... :) On the plate.. I mixed that oil and karoppodi .... and then i pulled that paste it into rice and mixed and mixed and thorougly mixed :) . I looked at TV and i looked at my watch. Stilll a few minutes to go... for the program. I took that well-mixed-karoppodi-oil-rice into my mouth and performed one chew cycle. Just one chew cycle. Thats it..thats it.I couldnt chew anymore. It was awful...odd...horrible.....pungent odour....tasting awful. I opened my mouth agape trying to understand what just happened.I was just stuck in that pose for a second and then i tore the paper on the bed hysterically and spat all on that.I went to bathroom and washed my mouth with water...not felt better...washed again..not felt better,still.


I came back to my bed and got rid of that amalgam of rice+oil+karoppodi. I sat again..Still some offensive smell was emanating from the plate.I went to the bathroom again but this time i was accompanied by my plate. I washed the plate with my LIRIL soap.You read it right.With liril. No detergent with me :( . I washed it thrice and washed my mouth umpteen times.. Came back and and quarantined both the bottles in the farthest room corner with respect to my bed. I ate with curd .


I was watching the show and my mouth was still in awful state .what happens when we eat sour mangoes, tamarind...my teeth condition was million times worse than that.Million times indeed.Besides that..something inexplicable kind of feeling.odd .Unbearable. During the commercial break on TV i went to bathroom again...cleansed my mouth with water...water ...water and lots of water.Still Not happy.Took my brush and squeezed out 20 grams from my 100 grams colgate tube and brushed.


I sat before TV and was thinking what went wrong: " I smelt that kind of odor before...yeah..got it !! Was it that..? No..no.how could it be...how could amma bring that to me and that too in a transparent bottle..? no it could not be that.. but..But that odour was like that ...but..but .. the colour is just like the oil's ...కొంపదీసి పల్లు(teeth) .. . ఊడిపోవుకదా.. . cha cha..it cant be that.....oh...okay anyways...lite..." .


Next morning amma brought breakfast for me at around 10 am. She was returning when i remembered the last night episode. I asked her joculary :

"ఏంటమ్మా...నిన్న నన్ను murder చేద్దామని ఎమైనా plan చేసారా?" నవ్వుతూ అన్నాను .
" ఏంటి క్రాంతి..ఏమయింది" she asked.

"మీరు నిన్నతెచ్చిన oil different గా వుంది ..old stock అనుకుంటాను..మీరు ఆ oil ఇంతకుముందు ఎప్పుడైనా వాడారా"

"లేదు క్రాంతి నిన్ననే సార్(owner) తీసుకొచ్చారు...కొత్తది"

నాకు doubt వచ్చింది ..కొత్తది అంటుంది అమ్మ. I continued " కొత్తదా ? ....ఆ can మీద ఏమైనా పేరు వుందా"
"లేదు క్రాంతి...ఎమీ లేదు... తెల్ల can ..పెద్దది"

నాకు నెమ్మదిగా doubt పెరిగిపోతుంది... తెల్ల can ...పెద్ద can...

"అమ్మా...అది ఖచ్చితంగా toilet cleaning acid.." I was laughing.

"అయ్యొ లేదు క్రాంతి...అదెందుకు ఇస్తాను...నువ్వు comedy చెయ్యమంటే బాగా చేస్తావు"

"okay amma....anyways ...నేను అది వాడలేను ఇక....మీరు తీసుకెళ్ళండి దాన్ని "

I went to the corner of the room ....picked the oil bottle up and walked towards her.I stood before her and opened .

God..!!!!...God..!!!!...God..!!!!...Unbelievable !!!!

i uncapped the oil bottle . We were both watching it casually still talking something. OMG..Pungent vapours.. fumes rising high were clearly seen ...as if it was boiling...and horrible caustic smell... We both were shocked. I could not see those fumes in the night....God!!!! Now no more doubts . its confirmed. what i thought of the smell last night was correct beyond doubt. It was the ACID USED FOR CLEANSING TOILETS . I could not control my laughter recollecting last night scene.she was still bewildered.


She was horrified..A few seconds later she said "క్రాంతి...చాలా రోజుల్నుంచి సార్ ని oil తీసుకురమ్మని చెబుతున్నాను ... నిన్న groceries తో పాటు ఆ can తీసుకొచ్చాడు...నేను అది oil అనే అనుకున్నాను..లెక్కల బుక్కులో కూడా oil అనే రాసుకున్నాను.. వామ్మో ఎంత పని జరిగింది నాన్నా ."

"oil బాటిల్లోకి పోసేటపుడు వాసన రాలేదా అమ్మా?" :)

"లేదు kranthi...నేను can ని floor మీదే వుంచి బాటిల్లోకి వంపాను...can నాకు దూరంగా ఉండడం వలన smell రాలేదేమో... . "

She was worried a lot about me. "kranthi..అసలే సార్ powerful acid తీసుకొస్తారు..నీకేమి కాలేదు కదా ?".

Yeah i could see how powerful it was . Fumes...Fumes..Fumes !!!!! అమ్మ చాలా tension పడింది ..ఒక వేల నాకేమైనా అయ్యుంటే ఎంత problem అయ్యేది అని . She went away thanking god when i clarified...assured that nothing bad happened to my health.

After she left and when i started eating breakfast ..i could not chew properly. Hurting. I went to mirror and checked my tongue. Oops...there were cracks/cuts on the left side of my tongue. Why on the left?? Any guesses ?? .... its because i chewed the food that side..haha.


మరీ ఎదవనయిపోయాను కదా :) bad time !!! :) . a scene which we usually see in typical telugu comedy movies occured to me. మరీ toilet cleaning liquidతో ఎలా తిన్నానురా బాబు..? ఇంకా నయం..సాంబార్ లాగ మొత్తం పోసుకోలేదు.. ;-)