nov 12 2008....time 7.30 am...at room. i turned on hari's pc. I searched for one song and finally double clicked it..."vellai pookkal .." I could not get the telugu version of it this time..the song is from maniratnam's "amritha" composed and sung by ar rahman. In telugu it goes like " marumallello ee jagamantha viriyaga...prathi vudayamlo shanthi kosame thapanaga.."
For the past few years....on this day ..religiously :-) .......am listening to that song, my favourite .
School days....The moment the 31st -october slip in the calender is ripped...the feeling of "being special" creeps into my mind. Discussions at home about the shopping of "the new dress" used to come intermittently ...usually.... And finally..on one evening , once i come from my school.. my mother asks me to get ready . My father,at that time, already would be waiting for me to go to bazar.
With full of joy i used to get ready and sit on the bicycle front bar. My father used to take me to shop which we usually go. They wish my father" namsthey sir..ela vunnaru" and then enquire about me . The shop-keeper who is an acquaintance (alerady been to that shop) shows different different cloth pieces. He used to say to my father" this is new style sir..take this..suits your son". But I never liked the kind of designs he used to show.. After much deliberation,finally, i used to end up taking a light coloured stripes. I dont know why i liked the same kind of style always...
Most of the time...the stitched new dress used to come home only the day before the birthday. My father used to ask me to wear for a trial..and I was not allowed to wear unless my mother keeps kumkuma on it.....And once the dress fits to a T, my father smiles with a pinch of pride. My mother always likes my selection...and if she is very impressed ..it shows on her face.
Nov 11,The penultimate day...feeling as "special" almost reaches a crescendo...I never informed to any of the friends about it ....only Radha and SrikanthDV know about that..... Ammamma remembers my birthday always and she insists me to take dress with the money she generally gives .I used to say "vaddhu vadhamma.."
The D Day.... the day used to start with first wishes of my mother,always: "happy birthday nana"... and then my father then my brothers.. Some used to send greeting cards..and the joy of receiving one is inexplicable... My mamaiah used to send most of the time as he stayed in the other town and sometimes my aunts also did. Radha..on one of my birthdays has given me a gift of "chinese checkers" and on that day i still remember the dress I wore ,blue stripes on white, .
I was the one of the invitees to amarnath birthday during one of our school years. DV,radha,shyam,hari were among the few. We occupied some chairs and were having a chat.Amar's father came and joined us.Radha and I were used to be very reserved and kind of shy then ..we did shut our mouths and started counting the seconds.DV was so aggressive in approach that he greeted him with a namasthey(also shyam did). Having no chance to escape,even we greeted him,but definitely not with a confident smile. Radha and I always faced this kind of situation whenever we came accross new persons.
Going to temple is not always on the birthday agenda. Sometimes i went and sometimes i didnt. But whenever i did, its to Venkateshwara swamy temple. If that day was not a holiday, i used to go to school in uniform only. Never distributed chocolates to the class mates. kind of shy. Most of the times...there would be a movie at 6 o clock with family.
One time i had been to my nanamma' village. After the talasnanam(shower) and wearing new dress...my father asked me to take blessings of my nanamma and thathaiah touching their feet ..i never did that before. Its a kind of embarrassment. So...with knowledge i gained watching movies...i bent my back ,touched their feet and pulled the hands back,touched my eyes and then got up. My aunt was standing there smiling. I was even more puzzled seeing her expressions.
i never have given parties on that day. No specific reason. i kept to myself. In the school one year...we were playing cricket at ground. i was in new dress. i was fielding and the greatest part is i have taken a catch which evrybody said a great catch. amarnath hit the ball and i ran and ran and ran and caught it diving forward streching my full body. my pant was soiled . i went home fearing but nohting happened.But i was very happy.All cricket-lovers can empathize with me easily.
As i finished schooling, intermediate and entered engineering..the feeling of" being special on nov 12" grew even more. In jntu campus...I used to wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning and have a shower with cold water in that early winter. After that i used to go to temple and here also to venkateshwara swamy temple in kphb colony. very few of my friends in the college knew about the day. One year i bought some pens and gifted to some. In the final year of my engineering my friends threw me a surprise party bringing the cake . But i expected that as everybody was talking among themselves from the evening avoiding me .They brought a cake at exactly 12 O clcok midnight and the difficult part is ..not to disappoint them... i had to force myself to act pretending as a surprise party that i had not expected...sorry guys...i sensed it before. As i used to stay in hostel far from home , it augmented the sadness as the day comes to an end.
This day…its like… the whole atmosphere showers happiness.everybody is affectionate towards you.And at home they treat you like a king. Friends insisting for party, we taking them to the bakery(when in school)or restaurant, or inviting them to house ,they giving presents to us....really a day to cherish.
As the day comes to an end...I used to feel very sad...may be because I had to wait for another 365 days. Still ….At this age… I feel the same way and......
i hope that feeling of "special",
that feeling of " my day " never dies .
